Greetings! It's your old pal Murray, the most charming stuffed puppet this side of the Green Mountains, coming to you from glorious Rutland, Vermont—where it’s finally May and you can almost hear the tulips singing show tunes. That’s right, it’s springtime in Vermont...

Ah, Valentine’s Day—the season of overpriced flowers, heart-shaped boxes of waxy chocolates, and greeting cards so sappy they make maple trees jealous. Every year, I do the same old thing: a dozen roses, a nice dinner, and a heartfelt, "Hey honey, remember me?" But...